For the past week, I cannot sleep. I lay in bed and talk to God. “Please help” is the norm. I pray for Texas, for the Carolina’s, for America, for our world. I pray for my children and my grandchild. For our families, our friends, and their families. I pray for my work, for my business. And I pray for you, too.
God’s Words bring peace, even if they don’t bring concrete answers.
I’ve learned to obey every word God gives me—not because I have to, but because I want to. Because I’ve witnessed and experienced miracles in this life.
In my personal life, God has certainly shown me glimpses of what God sees - and murmurs of what God hears. Thanks be to God for all that or my life would look a lot different, and not for the better.
One night while filling with anxiousness, I beseeched God for help. Messages came quickly, clearly, and beautifully:
Just relax. Stay exactly where you are. Rest. Sleep. Don’t do more. Don’t go chasing. Let yourself settle into this new environment that’s being created for your life.
Those commands landed deep. Because I’ve been in this strange, silent season—a kind of emotional and spiritual intermission since Cameron passed. A whole year of heartbreak. Confusion. Silence. Writing.
And then God further spoke:
This is the time in your life where you must learn to entertain yourself.
At first, that felt strange. I’ve always had something or someone filling the space—
A man making plans and sweeping me along in them.
A band, always offering distractions and movement. Hell, I’ve been the entertainer.
Small kids, loud noise, important tasks.
Groceries. Laundry. Lawn.
Doctors, flights, hotel stays.
Work. Work. Work.
—
But now, it’s quiet.
No one is making plans for me.
There’s no stage schedule, no road trip itinerary, no partner asking, “Where do you want to go today?”
The kiddos are older.
Cameron is invisible.
It’s just me.
And God.
And the space between us.
—
Today… it feels like the curtain is rising again. And I’ve realized something:
This is Act II.
In a musical, Act II is shorter. It’s not about building tension. It’s about resolution—about what happened after the storm. It’s where the lessons settle, and the soul begins to walk again.
That’s where I am.
Not at the end. Not even at the beginning.
But at the part where everything that’s happened unfolds meaning.
Act II has begun.
And I’m staying right here with God as it’s written.
Thank you to all who participated in our first annual #cameronstrong Week!
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Rose chosen: RED - General Wisdom
This week, I pulled a red rose, which in my deck represents general, spiritual wisdom.
This is what it said:
Pause and breathe when you feel rushed or frustrated. Remind yourself that good things unfold in their own time.
When reading this today, I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.
This card felt like a sacred reminder: It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to take a deep breath and let life catch up, instead of constantly chasing something (relationship, job position). It reminds us to trust Divine timing, even when our own timing feels impatient.
So if you’re feeling pressed or overwhelmed, I hope you’ll take a moment today - place your hand on your heart, breathe in deeply, and tell yourself it’s safe to slow down. I trust the unfolding.
Mary’s Roses are available for purchase on my website!
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